Between the Lines
MUSIC Information:
- Approved Measures
- G Major/E Minor
- 61 Measures
- Cello and Piano
- 3:31 min
- 4 Pages
The art of reading between the lines is as old as manipulated information. By Serge Schmemann
WHO I AM
Who am I?, The answer to that question - if anything - is elusive, and it persists, mostly out of habit, it doesn't point anywhere. It never has. Not every question deserves an answer and that's why, for the sake of my own sanity, I am not interested in knowing - being so, would tear me into pieces sending me into endless circles inside my mind, or wherever my thoughts live, and there is nothing worthwhile about that kind of unraveling.
However, it is indeed, during the most difficult times in my life, when my mind demands an answer, as if by knowing who I am, it would help to solve, all at once, my conflicting existence; hence, it's only logical, but not practical to inquire, with a sense of urgency, about myself to myself.
GO ON WITHOUT ME
To live a full life, abundant in festive moments, and simultaneously, making sense of the world, it requires of me, to master the difficult art to ignore the opinion of most, to acknowledge the advice of few, and to trust, completely, all the people I loved. Knowing all the same, that thoughts are not threats, feelings are not facts, yet, I must embrace both.
At times, the labyrinth in which my very existence is tangle, seems vast, dark and scary. No matter how hard I tried, the struggles never end. Life could be sometimes a diabolical fight against an invisible opponent. Letting the world go on without me, if only for just a moment, it's a proper coping mechanism and it is of assistance, if I remember to turn it on.
TO MY OWN DEVICES
One way to achieve the isolation from the world is with music. I spent some time writing this piece amid experiencing an internal turmoil, however much effort and time I invested, I left it inconclusive. My mind was locked in an obsessive mood asking who I was, but also, what was my place in the world, and where I was going, to no avail. At the end, I surrendered, and allowed myself to be left to my own devices.
Later on, I sat down to play the piano. Mozart's Sonata number four in E flat Major was in front of me. As I was playing, the sweet melody fill the air and, instantly, I was transported to a much better world, a world where, I did not need to know all the answers to meaningless questions, my only concern in the world at that moment was, the music and I.
WITHOUT A SECOND GLANCE
Mozart wrote some of the most beautiful melodies, why not include a shred of his cleverness into my composition. The result is this piece I am sharing. The idea was to create a tool that I can use to abandoned the world without a second glance, but also, remembering, that it will take me back when or if I feel ready to confront it.
I have included four of the most beautiful measures from his Sonata in my composition - four measures carrying the most beautiful melody I have ever heard, so alive and alert that it feels as though it occupies space, not just sound, close enough to be felt rather than heard. I found myself alone in my piano room editing, changing, moving and re-thinking and changing again, until they finally settled into a form I could accept, allowing them to stay and be part of my composition.
Written in the key of G Major, this piece represents both, order and chaos in me, as pretty and ugly things in the world infiltrate in my life simultaneously. I will force a smile at the pretty conditions, however, I may compel a shrug of resignation to the ugly ones for, sometimes, it is better to let it go.
BEYOND THE LINES
There are things and people in the world I wish wouldn't exist, because their existence alone, coerce me into questioning, and with a reason, my place in the world. Ugly things and rude people don't deprive me permanently of my strength though. But, I do question just as well, their place in the world, and all the answers that I could possibly can come out, do not add up.
The poet and author Gwendolyn Brooks wrote: Read between the lines, do not swallow everything. But every so often, I have to read not only between, also beyond the lines to cope with the world around me. The world we live in - I'm finding out - it's not about understanding it, is about surviving it.
NOTHING IS WHAT IT SEEMS
Trying to reason who I am, is equal to the vast labyrinth I'm navigating. The answers to who I am, will be this or that, the responses will be, no doubt, unsatisfactory. However, with the good use of music, I am able to bury the unpleasantness of the world.
If I decide to embark on a quest to know who I am, it would be necessary that I look at my surroundings, I have to read between the lines, and don't swallow everything, because, nothing is what it seems in the world.
If you are reading this letter thinking that I am completely dejected from reality, perhaps that I am clinically depress, perhaps that I am on a verge of a mental breakdown. That's the furthest from the truth; for all I know, you didn't follow the advice of G. Brooks; you did not read between the lines. I am not lost to reality - I am standing where you stopped looking.