Bittersweet

13 Oct, 2026

Information:

• Source: Under the Sun Notebook
• Key: F Major / D Minor
• Measures: 48
• Parts: Cello and Piano
• Duration: 3:58 Min
• Pages: 4 Pages

FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES

To whoever is reading this entry, I want to tell you something. But before I begin, full disclosure: I've had a couple of drinks. Not enough to dance on a table though. Let's not get carried away. Just enough wine to stop deleting, changing, and rewriting every other sentence because it sounds a bit too dramatic, too vulnerable or - Dionysus forbid - too honest. Well, after three drinks, Dionysus would probably be cheering me on. By four, I know he'd be taking notes.

So here's what's been rattling around in my head. Experiencing bittersweet moments is part of being alive. Or so people keep saying, which is a cheap way of explaining all the shit life throws at you, as if these moments are rare, poetic little events that happen once in a while. Blah blah. I think that's bullshit. They're everywhere.

ONE MORE GLASS

I don't think I live on one side or the other. I sort of stumble between them. One day I'm convinced I have finally figured life out, and the next I'm eating cornflakes for dinner. Yeah, cornflakes. For dinner. You know what? I'm sorry, I just... I love cornflakes.

The bittersweet bits are just little fragments anyway. They show up, make a huge fucking scene, convince me they'll be around forever, and then... they're gone. Just like that. Eventually the dust settles. It always does. I get up, brush myself off, tell myself I've learned my lesson, and carry on like a reasonably functioning adult.

Which is hilarious. Wait... actually, no, it's a bit concerning. Because give it enough time and I'll somehow end up in the same emotional neighborhood again. Different faces, different scenery, same bullshit. Different pile. Wait... that's actually fuuucking funny.

POUR ME ANOTHER

Anyway, take the pandemic, for example. Teaching online felt like a prison sentence some days. I missed my students. I missed the classroom. I missed those random conversations before class that somehow ended up teaching me as much as I taught them. But then something unexpected happened.

Teaching online also gave me freedom. I could pack my laptop, go almost anywhere, and my piano studio came with me. Looking back, I can tell you honestly, I don't know whether to thank the pandemic or flip it off.

And this is completely off the record, okay? On a particularly awful teaching day, I poured myself a glass of wine during a class. Oh! Don't you give me that look... See, that day my internet had crashed twice, my microphone had declared independence, and one more "Can you hear me now?" was going to send me over the edge. I survived. The students survived. That day, good old Dionysus probably gave me a standing ovation.

JUST ONE MORE

Oh shit, what time is it? Nah! screw it. Look... the thing is, bittersweet moments happen when my heart can't seem to make up its damn mind. One half is celebrating like it just won the lottery, while the other is already mourning something it hasn't even lost yet. It's a weird recipe, really.

Equal parts joy and sadness, a splash of terrible timing, and... there you have it. Kind of like a Long Island Iced Tea after midnight. Pretty sure that's one of Dionysus' favorites. No, but seriously. The moments that end up meaning the most are never completely happy. Never completely awful. They're just emotionally overcomplicated.

Looking back at my life... see I'm not complaining, okay? But it's a bit like watching a magic trick. I still have no idea how the hell I got from there to here.

Ta-da... Worst magic trick ever.

BOTTOMS UP

Speaking of magic tricks and all this bittersweet business, this morning I actually managed to finish a piece called Bittersweet, and yes, it feels like magic. It is an Andante in D minor. It's a little sad, but then again, what did you expect? A drinking song? Although, give me another glass and I might reconsider.

But no, seriously, I hope you enjoy it and that it makes you feel something familiar, something you've felt yourself but never, ever, ever quite knew how to explain. Or maybe it'll just make you want another glass of wine. Who am I to judge?

But now I have to think of the happiest moments. Wait, the happiest moments? Oh boy! They came with the kind of fine print I never bother to read until it's too late. Somewhere in all that joy was the beginning of an ache I hadn't ordered. I feel like I should ask for my money back. And the losses... well, they always feel like poison at first.

ONE FOR THE ROAD

Now I'm wondering if I've been using the wrong recipe all along. Maybe life isn't just bittersweet. Maybe there are four cocktails on the menu. Damn it!, maybe I've been thinking about this all wrong. The universe, life... whatever you want to call it, doesn't just serve bittersweet moments.

Sometimes there's Sweet-sweet. Like those afternoons, so perfect that make you wonder what terrible thing is waiting around the corner. Another time is Bitter-bitter. Those days when everything for sure goes to hell and on top of everything, you discover a fly in your coffee after a few sips. Bittersweet. The one everyone talks about, I mean, who hasn't said goodbye to a loved one at the airport, at one point in their lives? And Sweet-bitter. Sounds a lot like it could be my last day on vacation.

I dunno. I'm not sure there's a difference between the last two. Hell... I'm not even sure there ever was. Either way... Fuck it. Here's to whatever the hell we're drinking.