Given Up

It is going to be shitty if you do, and shitty if you don't.

It's been almost two years since Tim died, and I still can't find any real comfort. Every day I ask myself the same stupid, lame questions, and every night I go to bed angry, confused, scared of the future.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Asking God? Who am I kidding? His eternal silence has made his existence rather suspicious. Seriously, though, suppose I did ask him? Nah! I'd probably have to wait 4,000 fucking years for an answer, and frankly, I don't have that kind of time.

What is real and what isn't? Sometimes everything seems to merge and melt into one, and I'm left trying to make sense of a life that no longer looks the way I thought it would.

Thankfully, Linkin Park has done me the favor of putting all this frustration into a song. Given Up says pretty much everything I have to say, which saves me the trouble of explaining myself, something I haven't had much success doing anyway. So, turn up the volume. At least somebody seems to understand what the hell is going on.