I'm Sorry
Information:
- Before The Sun Goes Down
- G Major/E Minor
- 36 Measures
- Cello and Piano
- 2:52 min
- 3 Pages
“The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest"
PART OF LIFE
Apologizing, forgiving, and forgetting—it seems like a lot to ask, doesn't it? Sure, chances are we don't have to do it all at once. It's important to forget, imperative to forgive, but apologizing to someone is, for many reasons, an essential part of life. Yet the order matters less than we might think.
Sometimes we apologize before we truly understand what we've done. Other times we forgive without receiving an apology at all. And forgetting? That may come last, if it comes at all, arriving quietly like dust settling after a storm. Perhaps nowhere is this more evident than when we examine the burden of guilt itself.
I FEEL, I AM
I feel guilty and I am guilty. These are not the same, are they? Feeling guilty lingers inside and sucks the very existence out of me, potentially driving me toward a mental breakdown. Being guilty, on the other hand, only affects me if I humbly recognized the shortcomings of my deeds and feel sorry for the harm I've caused. It's a complicated matter. Nevertheless, both will make my life rotten if I leave them unaddressed.
On the other hand, it's impossible to do the right thing all the time, at every turn. It's exhausting to even think that someone could. Life in its entirety is full of uncertainty, ups and downs, and guilt is inevitably in the mix. Circumstances are worse, in my opinion, when feelings of guilt manifest from inaction rather than action.
WALK OF SHAME
Guilt can't be ignored; it isn't something that will go away if I don't think about it. The sooner I take action and face the ugly truth that I've been imprudent, the better for the sake of everyone around me. Recognizing guilt keeps me mentally balanced and overall grounded. But I'm also determined not to fall into the same trap of waiting to make amends ever again.
Not everybody experiences guilt with the same intensity, though, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, in the right dose, guilt is beneficial—precisely the same way the immune system keeps my body healthy. The purpose of confronting guilt is to find clarity, comfort, and relief from that "walk of shame" we have to endure.
TOO MUCH, TO LITTLE
Too much guilt and life can turn in a direction we didn't plan; too little of it and life can get ugly for everyone around the perpetrators. Admitting full responsibility is only half the battle. The other half depends on the forgiveness that the offended person may or may not extend. Nevertheless, guilt is a force so powerful that it strangles me, whether I deserve it or not.
It is likely that in the course of my life, some people's feelings were harmed because of my ignorance and the judgmental attitude I showed on some occasions. I know that my shortcomings have inflicted pain. I am guilty, and I am sorry. An apology, however imperfect or late, is better than the continued absence of one.
GUILTY PLEAD
Every imperfection, every selfish action, all the unkind words I might have said, the absence of empathy that somehow put someone in distress—these are realities so hard to accept when using spoken words. Indeed, it's much easier to say it with music. Words have failed me where melody can succeed.
This piece of music is an admission of my guilty plea, a confession carried not by language but by sound. In these notes, you'll find the apology I've struggled to articulate—I'm sorry. Yet all my trespasses, are not only damaging to others; they are also harmful to me. That is why, I must allow and extend this heartfelt apology to myself just the same. Above all, when I listen to this piece, I'll remember to be brave to apologize, strong to forgive and happy to forget.