LOST AND FOUND
This is one of the saddest pieces I've ever heard, and yet it comforts me deeply. It rescues me from my ill disposition. Which makes me wonder: am I actually comforted by sadness, or do I simply feel good when I hear music I love? Because those are two very different things. Maybe I don't need music to be happy. Maybe I just need music that I actually like.
Think about it. A sad piano piece can make my day better, while a cheerful song can make me want to leave the planet. Give me a beautiful, melancholy piece of music and I am perfectly happy sitting there contemplating the human condition. Give me some horrible German polka with trumpets, accordions, and fifty people clapping enthusiastically on the wrong fucking beat, and suddenly I am ready to declare war on happiness itself. That music is supposed to be uplifting. It is supposed to get you dancing. It is supposed to put a smile on your face. Well, congratulations. You have ruined my day.
But Lost and Found is different. There is a genuine beauty in its sadness, and I think that is why I find it so comforting. It doesn't try to make sadness attractive, nor does it try to drag me out of it. It simply gives the feeling a place to exist. And, while listening to it, I find myself feeling better. Maybe that is the “found” part of the title. I can be lost in a bad mood, lost in my own thoughts, and then, this piece helps me find my way back. Not to happiness, necessarily, but to myself.
So, no, maybe I don't have some strange attraction to sad music after all. Maybe I just know what I like. A beautiful piano piece that breaks my heart? Absolutely. A German polka designed to make me dance with fifty strangers while an accordion assaults my ears? No, thank you. There are limits and I am just happy that with "Lost and Found" I know how I can find myself when I am lost.